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Thursday, September 23, 2010

I dont understand?!

I am tired. I am so tired of defending my marriage to all my friends. I am tired of having to listen to them repeat over and over all the negative things instead of focusing on the postive, mature part of our marriage. I don't understand how the fact that I have two children in the mix of all this does not make a bit of difference to them. Yes, he has done a lot of things in the past and Yes I do not fully have complete trust in him anymore ((though it will be built back over time)).  Why can my friends not support my decision to stay and try to make my marriage work. I love him, no matter what, does that not count.  I did not marry him just because I thought that he looked good, I married him because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and only him. I have just found out tonight that a friend of mine (( a friend that I have been friends with all my life)) does not want to be friends with me anymore just because I decided to stay with him. Does no one believe in forgiveness. I understand that they might care about me and want me to have only good things. I understand that he has done things that unforgiveable but I can not just throw my marriage away because of all these small things, I have to make this work.  I feel so completely lost at the moment of what to really think about everything. And the fact that they just want me to completely forgive the one friend that I trusted with everything and then turned around and tried to ruin my marriage and get my husband to move in with her, really confuses me the most, like I am not completely getting the whole story about everything that went on.  I am at the point I just want to stay with just my family and forget having friends at all.  I can not keep putting myself in a circle of friends that either hurt me or dont really support me. I need to stick with the postive things in life, like my two wonderful children that will always be there for me.

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