I had to write a three page paper today that I have put off til last minute (like always). I kind enjoyed it though, wished I had started sooner so that I could have put more into it than I did because it was an interesting topic. It was a paper where we had to describe the seven deadly sins of memory. Its a book that describes seven different ways that our memory can fail us, do to events that have taken place, the environment, emotional stress, etc.. and these seven ways are put into two different groups. Its extremely interesting. However there was one sin that I feel I can completely understand and connect with.
Its when you have this memory that you don't want to remember you no matter what you cannot forget. I know it so well, its almost creepy. When me and Patrick started going through all our "crap", I was haunted by the memory of the other woman's phone number. Seriously. No matter how hard I tried or how busy I tried to keep myself, it stuck to me. I would write it on papers without even paying attention or type it in my cell when I was trying to call someone. It has stuck with me for months and months and months. It brought along memories with it to, a way to haunt me further. I can remember the pain and the hurt and the anger that I would feel all day just because of this one stinking number that I have only seen twice in my life but was tattooed into my brain.
Its a horrible thing to go through and I prayed everyday for the Lord to just take it away so I could move on. I believe that it took acceptance of what happened to finally forget it. I think that after I finally accepted what my husband did, I found a bit of closure and was able to move on to the next step of forgiveness. You could not imagine the amount of peace that I feel knowing I cant remember one cell phone number. :))